End of October

Hi..

At last we have come to the end of October.

For the first time in my life I wish it is not October.

For the first time in my life, I hate October.

For the first time in my life, my heart is in pain and I think is gonna take a while to ease the pain and it is not easy.

I just wish I can skip "this" part in my life.

I just wish I don't fall in love.

I just wish nothing happen to me.

I just wish I that I doesn't give "myself" to someone else.

But, I'm an ordinary person.

Allah will test me anywhere, anyhow and doesn't even care even it is on my birthday or even when that is the happiest time in my life.

And like an ordinary person.

I cry and mad.

I'm disappointed.

I'm hopeless.

I'm felt alone.

Then Allah shows me.

That I have a caring parents that also cried with me.

That I have a protective little sister.

That I have my big sis that doesn't ask me what happen but just stick with me.

That I have supportive friends that always be by my side even not knowing what happen, that come to me as soon as they heard me, that call me to know that I'm ok or not.

Then Allah shows me.

That I have such a wonderful people around me even if my heart is broken.

My heart will heal.

My cried will stop.

I will fogive.

I will forget.

But I never regret what have happen.

I will always cherish my memories

Thank you Allah for giving me those moments.

I'm ok.

I'm will gonna be ok.

Yes, I gonna be sad.

Yes, I gonna miss the old times.

Yes, I gonna cried sometimes.

But let it gonna be my secret.

What most important is I must accept it.

What most important is to forgive.

What most important is to be frank about it.

Then I can move forward.

Then I can live my life honestly.

Then I can be happy with lying to anyone.

I'm sure Allah knows what best for me.

I'm sure Allah have plans everything for me.

As His slave, I'm humble.

As His slave, I accept it.

As His slave, this is my time with Him.

"hilangnya cinta mu menusuk hati ku, hingga ku memilih cinta yang fana"

101004